Hey! If you saw me playing at the Fargo Theatre and want to get in touch, my address is d a n r e e t z at g m a i l dot c o m. Would love to hear from you. I have a number of other projects and a blog up at www.danreetz.com.

To: The Prospective, Introspective and Urgent Not Dead Date: Today, Tomorrow and the Rest of Your Life Welcome, Friend! Welcome and congratulations! Today is your first day in [insert town name here]. You’ve placed your life in the hands of the Fakeproject Corporation of America, and rightly so. The Fakeproject Corporation is known throughout the world for managling natural resources, energy, enemies, nations, and lives. Now it’s your turn to sit back and watch your life unfold behind you. FPCoA has everything planned out for you – from the gates of the community to the grate in your sink. No worries, for today’s Planned Life is the only life you’ll ever need. You can finally begin living today, because for the first day ever, You Are Not Dead. While you’ve already proven yourself exceptional buying into one of our life-plans, years of Personnel and Life Management have exposed your weaknesses to us. We've developed a plan to correct nearly all of your flaws. But you can't be corrected without your active participation. What does this mean? YOU HAVE REACHED AN IMPASSIVE! You cannot proceed and you are not sure you want to! YOU ARE BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE! The world and what it demands of you! Where do you start? What should you start, and how? Where have you been, where are you now and where do you want to be? Working with a series of surveys and long-term surveillance, behavioral experts at Fakeproject Corporation of America have dedicated countless hours of study to the life- and deathstyles of people just like you. Research indicates patterns — and patterns point to solutions that yield results. YOU ARE NOT DEAD is designed to identify problems and assist with solving them — or at least make them easier to bear. Why “YOU ARE NOT DEAD”? It is not to suggest that some working, buying, breathing, recreating people are dead — it certainly does not mean that some are alive. It merely reminds that you have a choice in how you approach life. What you think, feel, say and do — what you believe and dream — determine you who you are, and every decision you make should put down death, resist fixedness and undermine the paths of life that are deceptively easy or unnecessarily hard. Through conceptual framing and explicit directives, the written word and inventive sound, YOU ARE NOT DEAD gives you the guidance you need with the candor you deserve. Enjoy it and take it as seriously as the issues it presents. After you have mastered its messages, share the experience with others by passing it along. Not dying is not a secret — it’s a celebration. Spread the word and “party on.” Happy Not Dying! Dan Reetz and Meg Holle Fakeproject Corporation of America